When Your Emotional Release Needs Release… And an aplogy to my clients…

Somatic Emotional Release- bring me PEACE.   

When the body is freed to express what has been suppressed- Sweet release.  

Shake- quake-tremble- gyrate  

Blood sweat and tears reconnect me – Inherent-intelligent animal state   

Surging from no-where to now- hear

Sounds from deep underground 

My flesh and bone release raging waters to wash me clear.

I see Somatic Emotional Releases daily from my clients- it is the container and cosmology of my work.  What I am about to say comes from embodied personal experience and from the sacred witness that observes these powerful journeys in others.  This brief writing is to help bring awareness of how we can re-stick rather than release painful emotions and contractions when our egoic minds get in the way- and that is ok…  Awareness is the first step- compassion is the medicine to move forward.

As a culture we are so starved of healthy emotional release that when we begin to taste the essence of our emotions- the saltiness of our tears, the bitterness of our truth, the sweetness of our grief- we can often become addicted to and crave the thing that is trying to free us.  Emotional release feels incredible, and is incredibly healing when it is from our authentic willingness to let go.   Allowing  this simple mechanism of cleansing and renewal to re- establish in our body is the basis of emotional intelligence.

This mechanism, however, can become stuck when our emotions are forced from parts of us that crave the release from a place of unhealthy ego.  (I am clear about unhealthy vs. healthy ego as we do need a mature and healthy relationship with our ego).   Our intelligence is bypassed by the hyper focused addiction to emotion- which in turn is another distraction created to prevent us from moving past our stuck state, diving deeper and fully accepting the mundane, yet perfect, moments of our lives.

The other tricky piece that fuels this addiction is the belief (ego reward) that the more you release- the bigger, the louder, the messier- the more spiritual you are.   This unhealthy ego belief reinforces that part of us that needs everyone around to know how deeply wounded we are- that is trapped in wanting to be seen and identified as the “story” behind our wounds.

..I hear your story and as I look upon your beautiful and interesting face- I know it does not hold a candle to the life that is secretly in there. Words from John O’ Donahue

I have been there- in group healing- where others in the room were having some big releases and deep experiences (or so my ego was tracking). Self-defeat came and comparison jumped in and I found myself forcing emotion to rise to have an experience of release. Eventually, I would push something out and part of me would feel better but other parts of me felt cheated- overrode and unheard. Part of me knew there was a trap in this.

Like all addiction, there are somatic, emotional and external consequences.  In this case, when we force release and continue to relive the same emotions from the same perspective of sorrows and pains- we can re-traumatize ourselves.  We can spiral ourselves further down and in rather than lift the contraction patterns up and out.

This is difficult to assess when emotional release is so new to us and feels so good for us.  And, it is- when it is from a well spring of cleansing truth.  It is healthy and intelligent when we aren’t thinking our release but feeling the surrender to the medicine of the heart.   There are ways to discern the difference and this is a necessary step in re aligning with your higher emotional intellect.

Helpful Reflections:

Having the same release over and over without any shift in your physical- emotional- mental state is a sign that it is time to come up for air and have a talk with your tricky ego.  Don’t shut yourself down in any way if you notice this.  Have compassion and be curious.  Even allow yourself to indulge but with an awareness to ask- what am I doing to myself?  What is this process of continued emotional suffering (not emotional intelligence) trying to tell me?…

The body is your best ally. How do your emotional releases feel? If there is contraction and further depletion of the body then it is from a place that does not serve you. There is no emotional intelligence involved when the heart is not opened.

If/when there is no longer any sensation attached to the release this is a reflection- of disconnection.   True emotional release invites more wholeness- not more separation.  Listen to your body and be in your body so that your emotional intelligence comes back online.   To allow yourself to continue in a loop of release for the dramatic effect of release and then continue to say “you are doing our work” is a form of bypassing.

LOOK DEEPER… If you resonate with any of this then you have made the choice to do your self exploration.  This decision is supported  by Life’s loving force.  Life is designed on the model of  release and renew;  life cannot continue without this healing and regenerative mechanism- all other energies and creatures know this.  So trust yourself that you can go deeper or you wouldn’t have set foot on these shores in the first place.

When the Healing Container is Set by Another.. (Practitioners, groups,  etc)

Are you an active participant in your healing? Passivity does not allow the inner healer muscle to strengthen.  You must be willing to be an active participant in understanding what is being administered and invited from within you.  Why are you seeking healing and are you relying on the source you seek to do all of the work?  Are you finding shifts in your external life that provide you with the strength to heal on your own?

If you ever feel that your journey cannot move forward without the assistance of a certain practitioner stop and assess.   If in your sessions you are fed  sensationalized stories of what has been seen and felt during sessions, without permission- then they deprive you of your own emotional intellect and intrapersonal journey in discovering your own mystical places.   There is a fine line between helpful information to move a helpful and healing release and information for dramatic effect pushing a trigger response release.

If you ever feel like your emotion is being forced by another so that they can have an experience as your witness and thus feed their own ego- remember you always have choice in your care.  NO ONE should impose their beliefs as the WAY and push you. To be strongly encouraged is fine as most of us need a swift kick, but pushed is not.   Information, teaching and guidance is all necessary for all.  The great mystics and teachers have passed us endless wisdom to take into our hearts and inspire our own inner blooming- not impose a way or force a process.

To speak honestly… – as practitioner I have had to step back a bit and listen.  When I began to really embody my gifts and they were showing up fully in my sessions, I saw release after release.  And oh how my ego really got a jolt. DANGER… I would here the ego voice come in and feel unworthy if there wasn’t a big release from my clients- MESSY.
So, I took a step back to honestly assess this.    I did  some deep dives into my own worthiness around release, healing, emotional intelligence and integrity before I stepped back in.  I took my own medicine.

As a practitioner of the healing and remembering arts- it is my job to create a space for you to learn how to resource and thus employ your own inner healer. I am here to create a space for understanding your sovereignty and wholeness.   Thus, you create your own medicine chest of self- directed wisdom.

I APOLOGIZE TO ANY CLIENT WHO HAS EVER FELT THIS FROM ME.

Sacred work is simple. The fact that we sensationalize it is a reflection of the lie told that we were ever separate from source and all energies of creation and possibility…

“… things that exist outside of that plane of two-dimensional vision cannot be seen, no matter how hard one tries, if the physical eyes are used. Like many things, sight possesses both emotional and spiritual dimensions. These more sophisticated elements of sight have to be cultivated, however, and the skill to use them must be developed over time. There is nothing necessarily grandiose about this. It is a simple thing, a natural part of the human journey, a potential skill that belongs to each of us by birthright.”- Stephen Harrod Buhner

You cannot force emotional release or else it is not truly a release- it’s a self-absorbed, self- soothing that reinforces the story that was trying to be released in the first place.  Pure release comes spiraling up uncontrolled.  It’s the gush of tears that undulate the body out of a state of contraction.  That leave you in the kind of restful tired your system has been searching for.  The body is more exhausted by trying to hold it all in.

I would like to add here that I have witnessed this as an underlying main cause of “mystery illness”, emotional disorders and adrenal depletion. Please email me for questions about this subject and some helpful exercises  and insights around mystery disease and emotion..

True emotional release does not come from the mind.  True emotional release comes wildly winding out of the body and frees the heart…. You can literally cry your heart our for days or lifetimes and that is beautiful.  However, you know you have tipped the scale in to self-indulgence when the opening begins to contract and your mind begins to dig into the story deeper searching for more emotion. The rivers can flow for a long time- let them flow naturally.  Trust that you can ride each new ripple towards the wholeness and open arms of the sea.

I can, like anyone, let my mind go deep into my depressions, wounds and stories- I am actually really good at it.  I, like anyone, can get really spun up around it all and take myself down in a pile of tears. Tears of tantrum- not tears of release.  I, like anyone, can trick myself super easy as it has been the first response for so long. But- I, like you can, learned to love and respect myself to the degree that I really was able to see how the self-indulgent misery was hurting me- AND I DON’T HURT WHAT I LOVE.

If this resonates with you and you have questions- email me.

If you are experiencing this and you need guidance to help you re-direct your own inner guide- email me.

If this doesn’t resonate at all but something in you feels a tingle of curiosity…  

Blessings.