Maybe you can relate. You have something to say but you are afraid of your words being minced inside mouths craving attention and regurgitated back at you with foul odor. Or, maybe you find yourself on long Facebook feeds, adrenaline pumping, reading the adversarial banter that has taken away 5–10 minutes, maybe years, of your precious life force. Or, you read something you know will be controversial and you begin to troll for the drama of that person being called out. Maybe, just maybe, you notice a quickening of pulse, a twist in the guts, and a lil something in yourself wanting to call them out, set them straight, make them wrong.
“The Sacred Wound is the critical act in which the mortal achieves divinity.”Jean Houston
What if I told you that you can never fully heal. That you can scratch to the bone, gnaw at your sinew and suckle your marrow and you will still feel an impenetrable, troubling, haunting itch.
But you will continue to scratch. And although it brings temporary relief, the scratching has created a wound. But you keep scratching and covering the wound with “over the counter” tricks in hopes that it will heal. Until one day you slip and fall in the ooze of the wound that is now inhabiting the landscape of your life.
I was asked by a man recently “how can you support yourself doing what you do?” Why did you choose “these ways?”
I have never heard my Mother’s Voice. It lay in decay under the headstones of her losses. But, all decay can compost itself through worm dreams and seedlings and find its way to the light.
She was silenced long ago and has been riddled with illness all my life. I lost her young when I left my home, her and my three younger brothers behind. It ripped her heart out and, yet, she knew I had to go. I have wandered in the streets of my own dark night for decades in search of her touch, her song and a somewhere we could be together again. Her story has formed much of my own narrative.
Write the wrongs that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen in a piece of marble. Let go of emotions such as resentment and retaliation, which diminish you, and hold onto the emotions, such as gratitude and joy, which increase you. ~Arabic Proverb
A couple of weeks ago I was asked by a man in the community, who leads Rights of Passage (ROP) initiations for young men, to gather a small group of wise women to speak with the new initiates and the men who are supporting them.
He asked that the women come forth and speak about a wound, a blessing and share some wisdom around what we feel young men need to hear from us. As the young men are 14 years of age he gave us an hour to honor their attention span.
Here is a picture. It might not seem like much to you. But as pictures go…
It is April 19, 2019, a full moon as well as my 42nd birthday. I have just emerged from initiation- a quest for life, vision and permission.
This is the only picture that was taken. I can hear my mama sayin’- “I can’t see your beautiful face”. Mama, look close and you will see My 1000 faces.
“We do not care for what we do not know. We do not know what we cannot name.”Sharon Blackie
When all women are in tune with and listening to their wombs and following their hearts, the Earth will restore to balance again…
There is an amazing man in my life who has the sensitivities to feel into the feminine dynamics within himself and others. In one of our heart to hearts he said~
“Women are the most intelligent species I know of. Every woman knows what she wants in her heart. If every woman listened to that voice, and followed it, life in and around her would restore to balance”
It was a few months ago that I met the Salmon Spirit. I was attending an Imbolc and plant medicine class and had an encounter with a plant that brought me on a journey to the sacred laws of reciprocity through the body and life of the Salmon. A dream message that slowly revealed its lesson through lived experiences that awakened a full awareness of my impact on the whole organism of life. (The full story will come forth as I allow myself to fully digest the gift of this insight.)
The Salmon is cross culturally symbolic as a totem of knowledge and reciprocity. The Salmon’s journey and dream is one of service and initiation. [Read more…] about Words on Death and Nourishment from the Salmon Spirit
Illness or Initiation?
I was listening to one of my current inspiritors, Michael Meade, and he said something that plunged into my depths and re- affirmed this very present conversation I am having with my healing around what is really underlying my pain and trauma.
In summary he says:
“when you experience a life event that shapes the way you view and act in the world, that takes a piece of you- like severe illness or injury, death of someone so close to you, or some external disaster that rips apart a prior foundation on which you based your life- your Soul views that threshold as a signal that an initiation is about to begin”.
It is not an error that you have been born
a sensitive human being,
with a tender nervous system
and a heart that is sometimes broken.
Your vulnerability is not a mistake,
but a portal back into life,
into a world that has forgotten
how to dream
Do your desires fall short of the horizon? Do your connections and presence with others waiver. Maybe you feel a mechanism wanting to orient you solidly on the Earth beneath your feet to walk in service. And a soul calling you forward but there is a fleeting quality when you get close enough to even begin articulating the contract… [Read more…] about Be of Service- Heal This…