I remember a moment when contemplating another ceremony with Ayahuasca that my fear of Her taking away a wound deterred me from the ceremony. I have come to know how sacred my wound is. That it attracts the healing I need specific for my journey. I know that it holds medicine, and when felt, loved and integrated also holds life force and power. My life force and power. My full inheritance of the gift of being human.
I had sat with Grandmother Aya many times and so the wisdom of those experiences lives in me. Many little ego deaths, but never the complete dissolution I always prayed for. I like to hang on. I love my life and I had spent decades dismemebered from the gift of it- I was not about to hand it over that easy. Nor should I ever, or I would bypass the extraordinary self love experienced by my inner healer rising out of the wound. I might miss the miraculous capacity to source almost everything I need from within. That is my path here.